Last week, we had some amazing classes at our school, Jung SuWon. Sometimes Great Grandmaster Tae Yun Kim will stick to our regular class schedule, sometimes she will give us an extended workout. Last week was the extended workout week.
Whatever the exercise or workout activity is, there are times when people experience good workouts, bad workouts and GREAT workouts. I had the GREAT workout experience last week.
Physically, it was challenging and demanding for me. I’ve had to spend more time at work lately and less time working out, so I felt my physical being wasn’t up for a strenuous workout. But, what was very incredible for me was that I was able to let go of my own doubts and worries. Instead of being worried about being too tired and not being able to finish class or being really sore the following day, I actually was able to let that go. That is extremely rare for me, because I am usually too worried about getting tired in class, which I know is self-defeating, but I still go down that road.
Monday was very physically intense for me. I felt myself getting tired, but my inner spirit took over my mind and I didn’t start to sabotage myself. I don’t know how to best express this feeling, but I felt like I won the lottery. I let go of this huge fear I had and the freedom I felt made me feel exhilarated, strong, powerful and yet humble too. The rest of the week’s classes were physical and rewarding.
There was a point in class, after we’d been sparring for what seemed like an hour (after working on kicks for a long time before that), where it seemed like Great Grandmaster was going to end class. I was ready to congratulate myself on my personal success. But, class was not yet over! Great Grandmaster had us line up, but instead of finishing class, we started doing our forms!!! We started from the very lowest form and went up to the highest form that we each knew. So, for a student that knows only a few forms, they do the highest form they know, while everyone else continues with higher forms.
I had a brief thought of “oh my gosh, I am not going to make it,” but as soon as it started, I was able to let that go and made it through!
What is also important to me is how caring and supportive our school is of each other. I only pushed myself for my own gain. I wasn’t feeling competitive or afraid that people would laugh at me if I didn’t make it through. I could have stepped out of line any time with no one saying or thinking anything more than being concerned about how I was doing.
And, above all else, I would never have pushed myself that hard on my own. Because of how deeply I trust in Great Grandmaster Kim’s ability to teach (I’ve been training under her for nearly 20 years!!!), that is what gave me strength to push myself that hard. And, combine that with 40 or 50 other students striving for similar reasons, it is one of the most amazing environments I have ever been in.
Great Grandmaster writes in one of her books, The Silent Master, pages 27 – 28, “I am unique and individual, yet I am part of the whole. I can achieve my goals. I share what I am, lovingly and givingly, because my unique part to play is necessary to complete the whole. I am alone, yet I am alone with the entire manifest universe and every other individual. Together we are each alone, and together we are all-one, and together we each fulfill our unique purpose in harmony and peace.”